Women and Body Image

VS models

Every year, the Victoria’s Secret models parade around in nothing but bras and lace panties with their impossibly long legs, thin waists, yet incredibly large boobs, for the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The show presents these women strutting down the runway for women to stare in admiration and the men, of course, "enjoying the view" or in other words, drooling over them.

Victoria’s Secret models have been a controversial topic for a long time. So why is it that the figure these models have are completely different from the typical American woman? Most people would ignore the fact that these women are extremely skinny, maybe even unhealthy skinny because the media portrays gender stereotypes of women as being perfect but yet unrealistic. To be more specific, the physical expectation society has on women is to be skinny, flawless, have big boobs, a thigh gap and a nice butt. As women everywhere watch the model show, mesmerized by these gorgeous VS Angels, they can’t help but ask their selves, “Why can’t I look like that?” "She makes me feel fat." "I wish I was that perfect." 

VS models

Victoria’s Secret models are represented as women who embrace their figures, feel confident and sexy in their own skin.  The sad thing is, no matter what these women say, the women who look up to them still are taking the wrong route when it comes to achieving that body image. 

The pressures to accomplish an idealistic body has definitely caused serious physical and mental health issues. Aside from comparing themselves to the models, women feel even more stress to attain that desired body image. The poisonous blend of the media, advertisements and celebrity culture plays a part in the influence on body image in society. This pressure is killing women’s self-esteem, pretty much forcing women into going on diets, over working out, and even eating less than their food intake in order to change their body shape. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love the VS brand since I own quite a few of their bras and I enjoy the shows.  But sadly, they still have a lot of problems that can easily be solved.

I love that a lot has changed in the model industry in general the past few years. More companies are allowing women in the model industry who have a natural figure, for instance, Dear Kate. Dear Kate is an underwear company for women of all shapes and sizes.  What I really love about this company is that it presents such a body positive atmosphere. 

I remember the media exploding over Dear Kate responding to Victoria’s Secret’s “perfect body” campaign back in 2014 with an awesome letter and counter picture promoting body diversity.

Perfect Body Campaign

“Through this photo, we showcase women who are often neglected by the media and traditional retailers. We show the multitude of shapes perfect bodies can take.”  - Dear Kate .

Companies like Dear Kate are changing a lot for women and their portrayal on the media. I think that the more we become body diverse, the better our self esteems and all around health  will be.

confidence is key

Glamorous Abuse

There have been a few movies lately that seem to secretly display men dominating women and abusing them. But yet, the women seem to enjoy it? So why is it that movies such as Fifty Shades of Grey or Suicide Squad are so popular but yet present unhealthy relationships? Because media glamorizes it. The media controls how us viewers in society are suppose to feel. In the films, they make the behavior seem fun, mysterious, and exciting. They make a person appear to want it or crave it even though in their mind they feel it is wrong. This kind of behavior would be considered abuse and possibly rape in real life.

Let's take Harley Quinn and The Joker in Suicide Squad for instance. This was a popular couple that so many people were intrigued by. Even though they should have been disturbed by this relationship. But of course, the film glosses this relationship to have viewers to be drawn in instead because they saw it more of a fantasy than of a horror. It was clear that Harley Quinn was devoted to the Joker but the Joker presented dominance and treated her like trash majority of the time. Part of what keeps the people from disagreeing with the couple is the fact that the film portrays them as a complicated, gangster couple who both love eachother in different way. Harley sees Joker as her hero or in her words, "her Puddin'". The Joker see Harley as her property that he never wants to let go of. 

Here is another clip that shows the relationship between the same couple in the cartoon series. But this time, there is no glamorizing and it is actually disturbing to watch. I also found it really sad because it really shows how abusive their relationship is and gives a example of what women deal with in real life when it comes to domestic abuse.

If you look at recent news about Harvey Weinstein and his predatory behavior to include sexual harassment and the onslot of "hashtag pound me too" yet at the same time people are paying to see this same type of behavior and in the movies which has been glamorized to where women seem to want or enjoy the way the men treat them that it makes sense that our society is confused and becoming immune to feeling the correct way about this particular issue.

Be a Ellen

Several people were brave enough to send this message of "coming out" during the time where being gay, lesbian, and transgender was not accepted. One of those people, my favorite comedian, is Ellen DeGeneres. She changed something huge for the LBGT community by "coming out" on her first show, Ellen that aired from 1994-1998. 

Even today, the LGBT community is treated unfairly. But, on the positive side, a lot has changed. The community now has gained equality such as having the right for same-sex marriages, more acceptance in society, finally having the courage to be themselves and having the support they deserve. 

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I absolutely love Ellen because she changed and helped with so many things. She is just a genuine and wonderful woman. Not to mention, when she came out on her sitcom, she did not allow the back lash of homophobia to stop her from being true to herself. She still fought against the hate and became an activist for every single person dealing with the same struggles. She may have lost her first sitcom, Ellen, but from her not giving up, she now has her own show, The Ellen Show. She is very inspiring for not only for LGBT community but for our society in general. 

She promotes love, laughter, equality and relieves us from being afraid to be ourselves. She has saved lives just by all that she has done. 

This Is A Man's World

“The three most destructive words that every man receives when he’s a boy is when he’s told to 'be a man,'” - Joe Ehrmann, coach and former NFL player. 

While social constructions of femininity mandate that women are to be thin, beautiful, delicate, feminine, and sexy, masculinity demands that men are needed to constantly prove that they are men. What does that mean? It means that in order to be a man in this culture, one has to be emotionless, tough, dominant, assertive, and egotistic. The idea that both genders are forced to be a certain way due to socio-cultural expectations is potentially damaging.

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Imagine being a parent and having a boy. The boy shows signs of sensitivity and sympathy to others. Some people equate that behavior to being feminine or weak. Now, if the child was a girl with the same behaviors, then that is an encouraged behavior. The molding of these gender traits do seem to start early an age and progresses more as they grow. Feedback branches out to more and more people which influences the choices that these kids make. For example, peers in school. Peers can make or break a person and no one wants to be broken. So people change the way they act and look in order to be accepted. Which in this case, when a boy's true self is being sensitive and emotional, the pressures by peers can change them to being tough and careless. 

That being said, here is a short video from the documentary, "The Mask You Live In", interviewing a adolescent boy named Ian and his experience of the pressures to be "a man".

Boys like Ian is a good example of how people such as his grandfather and the people he went to school with influenced him to change. The fact that when Ian expressed his true self, he was bullied constantly. In order for him to be accepted, he had to follow the masculine scripts; to be athletic, attractive, and popular. Ian also talked about one of his guy friends who was described as feminine, was bullied much more than Ian because of that. I find it extremely sad that in order to be accepted in society, you have to follow these gender scripts. 

Here is a video done by ONE WORD and it shows boys and men ages 5-50 explaining what they believe it means to be a man. I found it interesting how some of the men's answers were not all defined as the typical definition of being a man. 

"Be a man" is a silly statement to me. Telling someone to be a man stunts and restricts his emotional growth. It can affect a man's relationship with his girlfriend or wife and kids. It is why men are found to be most likely to go to jail due to violence. The way masculinity is defined in society is misconceived. The new definition of masculinity is to be able to be open with one's vulnerabilities, emotions and concerns. Being respectful and sensitive to women, Expressing sensitivity themselves. It is not being weak or being feminine. It is being a REAL man. 

Girls can lift too!

So let me just clarifty that it is the 21st century and some people still find women who lift weights to be unattractive and not lady-like. I am a woman who lifts weights everyday and I lift HEAVY. When I post videos of me lifting 235 pound plates on a barbell, I get mixed emotions for it because I am a girl. One thing that I hear the most from people is "You're not going to look sexy lifting those weights, just manly."

First of all, weightlifting is not just for men. 

There are many women that I have seen and have looked up to that lift more weight than half of those men. I find it astounding that people are so focused on being gender stereotypical. It's time to get over it because no matter what we're lifting those dumbbells whether you find it acceptable or not!

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The woman in the picture below is Kelsey Wells, who is a fitness trainer and she does lift weights daily.. And I want to share one of her posts that really inspired me because everything that she states in her caption I couldn't have said it better myself!

"Comments along the lines of "you're looking manly" or "careful you don't want to be bulky" or "weightlifting isn't feminine" never cease to amaze me. I choose not to respond to negativity, but I do have something to say about this and I want to say it loud and clear. NOT in response to those who have left negative messages and comments, but instead to ALL MY FELLOW WOMEN who have ever received a similar comment or been told they need to do/be something different to be beautiful or feminine. THE ONLY THING A WOMAN NEEDS TO DO TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE IS TO BE HERSELF. We empower ourselves when we are living our truth and doing what we are PASSIONATE about with our WHOLE HEARTS. I was always a girly girl growing up and I love getting dressed up on occasion. What has surprised me though is finding I feel most beautiful when I'm gross and sweaty in the gym when I'm pushing myself in my training, and even more so as I'm wrestling on the floor with my son or any time I'm looking into that little face and teaching him about his world. .

There is 100% beauty and femininity in lifting weights. Just as there is in dancing. There is beauty in MOTHERHOOD. There is beauty in marriage. There is beauty in being a homemaker. There is beauty in being single. There is beauty in pursuing a career. There is beauty in education, in learning both inside and outside of school. There is beauty in public speaking. There is beauty in private, sincere conversation. There is beauty in writing and cooking and cleaning and singing and playing sports and playing instruments and anything and everything else you might enjoy, because simply there is SO MUCH BEAUTY in YOU, you just need to choose to see it. And it has nothing to do with what you look like. So free yourself of the opinions of others and the beauty standards of society. Pay attention to the moments in life you FEEL beautiful. What are you doing? DO MORE OF THAT." Kelsey Wells Instagram 

When woman are lifting weights, I see them as being inspiring, confident, strong, healthy, and determined. I don't think of women who lift as manly or unfeminine. I honestly believe that gender stereotyping and downgrading women on their potential, especially from the influence of the media today is one of the many issues that has been existing for far too long.