This Is A Man's World

“The three most destructive words that every man receives when he’s a boy is when he’s told to 'be a man,'” - Joe Ehrmann, coach and former NFL player. 

While social constructions of femininity mandate that women are to be thin, beautiful, delicate, feminine, and sexy, masculinity demands that men are needed to constantly prove that they are men. What does that mean? It means that in order to be a man in this culture, one has to be emotionless, tough, dominant, assertive, and egotistic. The idea that both genders are forced to be a certain way due to socio-cultural expectations is potentially damaging.

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Imagine being a parent and having a boy. The boy shows signs of sensitivity and sympathy to others. Some people equate that behavior to being feminine or weak. Now, if the child was a girl with the same behaviors, then that is an encouraged behavior. The molding of these gender traits do seem to start early an age and progresses more as they grow. Feedback branches out to more and more people which influences the choices that these kids make. For example, peers in school. Peers can make or break a person and no one wants to be broken. So people change the way they act and look in order to be accepted. Which in this case, when a boy's true self is being sensitive and emotional, the pressures by peers can change them to being tough and careless. 

That being said, here is a short video from the documentary, "The Mask You Live In", interviewing a adolescent boy named Ian and his experience of the pressures to be "a man".

Boys like Ian is a good example of how people such as his grandfather and the people he went to school with influenced him to change. The fact that when Ian expressed his true self, he was bullied constantly. In order for him to be accepted, he had to follow the masculine scripts; to be athletic, attractive, and popular. Ian also talked about one of his guy friends who was described as feminine, was bullied much more than Ian because of that. I find it extremely sad that in order to be accepted in society, you have to follow these gender scripts. 

Here is a video done by ONE WORD and it shows boys and men ages 5-50 explaining what they believe it means to be a man. I found it interesting how some of the men's answers were not all defined as the typical definition of being a man. 

"Be a man" is a silly statement to me. Telling someone to be a man stunts and restricts his emotional growth. It can affect a man's relationship with his girlfriend or wife and kids. It is why men are found to be most likely to go to jail due to violence. The way masculinity is defined in society is misconceived. The new definition of masculinity is to be able to be open with one's vulnerabilities, emotions and concerns. Being respectful and sensitive to women, Expressing sensitivity themselves. It is not being weak or being feminine. It is being a REAL man.